I was pretty set on not finding out, however, James is dead set on knowing. At first we decided that James would know and I wouldn't and he would keep it a secret from everyone (because someone is bound to slip in front of me). But then I know that it will kill me that he knows and I don't. So we decided we would know and keep it a secret from everyone else so that the birth would be extra special and waited on with extra anticipation. When we told our family of our decision, some of them got REALLY upset about it. Which then made it not fun for me anymore. (which is another issue in itself, it really bothers me how some people don't take into account our feelings on the situation.) Anyway, So now it comes down to either we don't know at all that way no one can get mad at us that they don't know, since we don't know. Or we find out and tell everyone, but try to find an extra special way of letting them know.
A positive of me knowing is that I really don't feel as connected to this pregnancy as I did when I was prego with Chloe. It could be that it was different because it was my first time and this is all "been there done that" now or if it is because of my crazy hormonal emotions. Maybe finding out will help me feel more connected? That would be great too....
I think I am just gonna give it up to God. If He wants me to know, then the baby will be proudly showing off his/her goodies. If He wants me to wait, then the baby will be "shy" as can be and keep the legs crossed and that will be that, I won't push it further. I won't go in for the extra ultrasound or 4-d ultrasound, we will just have to wait it out. haha. In case we do find out, anyone know of any good ideas for letting family know of the baby's gender? Our family is too big and too spread out throughout the country to do anything together like a gender party, so we need something we can do for everyone.
oh and just because I don't want to know quite yet doesn't mean I don't want to have fun guessing at what Baby E is... anyone have any good wives tails to figure out the baby gender?
I'm in the exact same boat Michelle! Trying to decide (already) - just so I'll have my mind made up by the time it's US time... I didn't find out with Hannah or Ryker, so it would be kinda fun knowing for one baby- and this will 99.9% be our last baby too.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I always think is a good sign, is the heart rate? Is it always higher, or lower?
ah yes... i have heard that if the heart rate is above 140 girl and below boy, right?
ReplyDeleteI think it would be fun for you guys to know and no one else. Your families need to understand that this is special between you, James, and Chloe. They just need to respect your decision but I understand your dilemma. I have that same kind of family, it sounds like. Well we love you guys and we will back you with whatever you decide! I'm hoping for a boy! And what's the shape of your belly so far? They always say you are wider with a girl and stick out more like a basketball with a boy. lova ya!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about not finding out this time but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. This might be my last pregnancy and is definitely my last for a long long time so I kind of wish we would have been surprised. But honestly, I am so happy I found out. I think that day is almost as exciting as them being born. We went out and bought a little boy outfit right after the appointment and it was so much fun disclosing it to everyone.
ReplyDeleteMaybe if you find out you can make a video? I've seen photo shoots of people revealing the gender by putting blue or pink balloons in a box and then opening the box and all the balloons fly out. That's pretty cute!
Have a great ultrasound! Whatever you decide will be special!
i just say go with your gut instinct! gage always had a low heart rate, and owsley always had a high one. but somehow, i just knew in my heart that owsley would be another boy!
ReplyDeleteyou should google 'gender prediction chart' and if you know around the date you conceived, the chart will tell you what the sex will be. it worked BOTH times with my boys. :)
For my second birth, I decided I wanted no one in my room for my labor at all, which was different from my room full of friends and family while I was in labor for my first. Everyone was upset and had something negative to say, and I felt the same way about them not taking into consideration that I really just wanted it to be special with my husband, me, and this new life I wanted to concentrate on bringing into the world.
ReplyDeleteI used it as an "Oh well, I'm pregnant, and that's the only time I get to use the crazy hormonal mess excuse" so I used it. and for my labor it was just my husband and I just like I wanted. Then a few pouters afterward who got over it.
Anyway, I guess I wanted to say that if it's really important to your husband and you, try to stand strong, which I know is hard because I'm a people pleaser and I hate others being upset.
And gender wife tales are a bunch of bunk for me. I've had a girl and a boy and I don't think one wife tail or reveal ever was right for either of my babies. I'm expecting my third though, so we'll see for this one. :)
Blessings and love!
I read somewhere that women who guess the sex of their own child (without knowing) are right 78% of the time. Not helpful, but cool.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you decide, have fun with it! Not finding out is a lot of fun, from my experience. I only have one though, so I can't compare it. (For the record, I was 100% sure I was having a boy, and was totally right)
Haley,
ReplyDeleteI LOVE YOUR IDEA! I am going to tell James about it right now!
That's sad about your family...and selfish. They should honor your wishes and support/encourage you without making you feel guilty if they disagree with how you want to do things. You could always find out and tell everyone you didn't find out *wink* haha.
ReplyDeleteWe decided that we were going to find out the gender (and tell everyone) but keep the name secret. It still gives a surprise to look forward to but since this is our first we want to "prepare" for the gender (knowing the name, decorating, etc).
Obviously, not knowing until the birth is also really exciting.
Are you on pinterest? There are a lot of really cute ideas for gender announcements (photo shoots for cards, cupcakes with blue or pink centers, etc.) There's also a cool website: telegramstop.com where you can send out telegram announcements that are pretty awesome.
Oh and P.s. on the heartbeat thing...totally unreliable. My mom never had sonograms and according to the heart beat my brother was a girl and I was a boy. My sister in law also was told her baby was a boy based on the heartbeat and it ended up being a girl, haha.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I tell people this is sounds really odd, but when I was in the womb, my dad found out and kept it a secret from my mom (I was their second and last baby and they'd found out together with my older sis). It worked for them, but my dad is SUPER great at keeping secrets, so he never slipped up. The only down side was that he called me an "it" for the first few months of my life because he got so used to avoiding "him/her/he/she". Just an idea!
ReplyDeleteThank you ladies for all your support... I will let you know next week what we decided to do!
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