Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Any Tips on Discipline?

Discipline has always been something I was dreading to do with Chloe. I know I have a temper and I know that sometimes I need to just walk away and have James deal with Chloe's tantrums because I know my limits. I don't want to do something or say something out of anger. I had fear about disciplining Chloe. I was worried that I would do something out of control or that I would not do it right and instead of teaching her a valuable lesson, I would instill fear in her instead. God has helped me deal with this so much. He has granted me more patience than I thought possible. He has helped me give grace to her pretty much immediately after doing something to purposefully push my buttons.

You are probably thinking how could a child less than 1 1/2 purposefully push my buttons?  Oh she can and does, more often then I would have hoped. When I say she can't have that or not to touch/do something that can hurt her, she looks me right in the eyes and does in anyway. When she gets mad she has pulled my hair. When I ask her to stop, she sits there holding on to my hair in her fist and looks me in the eyes then smiles and pulls my hair again. and hard too.

Now her big thing she gets a kick out of is hitting. We hadn't seen her do it before, but the school told us her and another girl hit each other a lot when they want to play with each others toys. We thought it was so strange since she hasn't witnessed anyone hitting anyone. Then the hitting has now progressed into our home. When she is cuddling next to me all cute all of a sudden she will turn to me and hit me. when I say, "ow, we don't hit" she then laughs and hits me again. then when I sternly tell her "please stop" she then gets mad at hits and kicks me. It doesn't happen all the time, but it has been happening about 3 times a week lately and I am afraid that it will progress to more often if I don't rectify the problem now.


I can deal with the tantrums, in fact since we have instilled a time out chair her tantrums pretty much stop in there tracks. When she starts throwing a tantrum, we tell her to sit in her time out chair until she is done crying then she can come play when she is ready. And she gets up from the floor and goes to sit in her chair until she is  done and then comes back to play. And sometimes all we have to ask is if she wants to sit in the time out chair and she says no and immediately stops crying. However, It doesn't seem to work with hitting. When I tell her that she will have to go to the time out chair if she hits me again, she then yells and hits and kicks me more.

I don't know why the time out chair isn't working for this, but I would love to hear if any of you out there experience something like this and how you deal with it? I know every child is different and every family's personal discipline techniques are different, but I am at a loss of what to do.




7 comments:

Olivia Grace said...

It sounds like you are doing everything you can, Michelle. Isabelle was a hitter AND a biter, oh that was a rough time!! I would give her one warning and then, if she did it again, straight to time out. Do you ever watch Supernanny? Her techniques really, really work. It's all about praising and encouraging positive behavior. She says that you should give one warning and then go to time out, don't do a lot of talking or threatening. Let the child know that you are serious, get down to their level when you talk to them, and then when time out is over give them lots of love and hugs. Look her up, she's got some great, really practical advice! Good luck and take courage, friend!

Miranda said...

Sadie has started doing the same thing. She'll hit me and then laugh when I tell her it hurts. I've been trying to get on her level and talk calmly but I haven't had much luck. Time outs have kind of been helping. I'm going to try time outs like the supernanny to see if that helps though, cause I'm not doing good at it.

Emily said...

We also follow the time-out that Supernanny does. it is done with authority, but not out of anger or to cause fear. we started doing it when our little girl was 1....and it has been the best thing for her. she is 2 and a half now and she listens to us, respects us, and follows our directions (most of the time...she's still only 2!) the most important thing is consistency and to make it clear that YOU are in charge. also, the child stays in time-out one minute per their age. and they have to apologize when they are done with their time. it may seem hard at first, but TRUST me, it's worth it!

Her and the Boys said...

Conner is at that stage too. He's learning it from big brother though...We are going to start using the time out pad with Conner to let him know that he cannot hit us. Don't worry it's a phase...

Haley Galloway said...

I totally feel your pain! Ever since Noah was born Sophie has been quite the little sass to deal with. Don't get me wrong, she is a sweet, sweet little girl. But when she gets frustrated (which seems to be often) she acts out. I hate it! She started hitting her little brother about a week after he came home from the hospital and I was baffled since she had NEVER hit before this. I try to be really strict with time outs. I agree with everything the ladies before me have said about Super Nanny's techniques! She knows whats up! I try to just give A LOT of over enthused praise for GOOD behavior and not tolerate the bad behavior at all. It's part of the age they're at, but it will pass quickly if you just keep enforcing..as hard as it is!

Jennifer said...

I wish I had some advice but I don't but I can sympathize and sometimes that feels good too. I have a 19 month old who is doing the same exact thing with hitting. She has tested be beyond anything I imagined. I don't know what will work but for me distraction and being consistent seem to be something that feels right. Just trust what you're doing and know you are not alone. Remember its just a phase!

She Said... said...

Thank you ladies! I looked up that Super Nanny and her advice is awesome! Definitely going to stick to my guns on this time out thing! It really seems to be working!

I am glad that I am not alone in this!

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