Unfortunately, my time has come to head back to The Smencil Co. Just one week shy of Chloe's 3 month birthday. It is definitely bittersweet. More bitter than sweet, I might add. Chloe is at the point now where she is more aware than ever. She plays with her toys and smiles like crazy. She coos and has "conversations" with us. I feel so connected with her. That connecting usually happens during the day. The time that I am now going to be at work. I know that I will get some time to bond with her when I get home, but it is just not the same. The evening is usually her cranky-pants time. I won't get to see her big smile when she first wakes up in the morning and notices that I am standing over her. I won't get to see her wide eyed stare as she looks into our jungle of a backyard, taking everything in. We are lucky to be able to have my sister nanny her everyday and the bonding that they will create with each other will be special. And it is very important for my sister to have that time with her before our big move. I just hope I am not "replaced" in Chloe's eyes. I am afraid we will be missing all the milestones that will more than likely happen while we are away. When she first rolls over, starts to crawl, her first infectious laugh. Maybe I can just pray all of that happens on the weekends only?
It is also a little sweet. It is nice to get out of the house and to have some where to go everyday. It is nice to have adult conversations. It is nice to spend more time with James and our other friends again. So, for now, I need to just focus on the good aspects of going back to work to help me get through this week. I know it will get better as time goes on. For now, I just keep praying that God gives me the strength to leave my baby girl every morning without crying.