Thursday, November 10, 2011

Thank you to all my wondeful readers!

Thank you for giving me the courage to be honest and open about... well EVERYTHING. It's really hard to show your feelings of negativity and doubt. I am lucky that you are all so supportive and encouraging! I love you all! It means so much to me all the comments you wrote about my last post. I can't tell you how many times I debated over whether or not to publish that or not, and I am SO glad that I did. I blog for community with other readers and other moms and that is exactly what you are all providing, a GREAT community of wonderful ladies. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Speaking of giving Thanks (and the pure fact that I don't want to post ANOTHER post right now), Deanna at Delirious Rhapsody is hosting a thank you giveaway for her readers in supporting her blogs first year. Go here and make sure to enter! Trust me, this blog is A-mazing and is definitely one of my top fave blogs. ever.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Let me be REAL.

Thank you everyone for the congrats! I put up a new tab talking a little bit about our newest "addition" that has yet to be born. We are beyond excited! Baby E is due on June 8th, 2012. Meaning my little ones will only be 18 months apart. eek! 2 little ones under 2 years of age will definitely be a challenge, but I know God will be there to help renew my strength, energy and patience every step of the way.

With that being said....
I really feel like my blog is a place for me to be totally honest. And if I were to be totally honest, I would have to say that this baby was not welcomed at first. There, I said it. You can judge me all you like, but I can't lie about it.

When we found out I was pregnant, James was ecstatic! I was terrified and upset. How could this happen? This wasn't the plan! We can't afford this! Where is this new baby going to go in our teeny tiny apartment? Yes, these were the thoughts going through my mind. Not joy, not overwhelming happiness. Once I got over the initial upset, I felt denial, "this is not happening, can the test be wrong?". Then I went into analytical mode... Okay, lets look at finances, lets look at what our possibilities of moving to a bigger place, lets look at what it would take to afford this little one. I still wasn't at a place to be happy, but at least I was accepting the fact that I was pregnant and looking at what we can do to accommodate this little one growing inside me.

It took many days, many prayers to God, many shed tears (only on my part) and a desperate call to my Mom for me to accept the baby is a blessing. I mean, I feel all children are blessings, even if unexpected, but deep down I wasn't ready to be a mom to 2 little ones and at first this one sure didn't feel like a blessing. I feel guilty for saying that, but it is true. I had to accept that this is all God's plan and that He has perfect timing and although I may not understand it and sometimes don't want to accept it, it IS perfect. This baby is inside me right now for a reason. A reason unbeknownst to me. I had to accept that to find inner peace and happiness. Once I did, it felt amazing. I now can say that I do truly feel absolutely ecstatic to have another little one coming. I still don't know how I will handle it (Chloe is definitely a handful for me), but I know through God, I will be able to get through it and I will be a better mom, a stronger person and more spiritually fit because of it.

I still feel guilty, even writing all this out and I am not 100% sure if I will ever hit that "post" button, but if I do it's only because I want people to know that its okay to not be overly joyed at first. Sometimes the true happiness comes later and that is REAL. I don't want to lie and say everyday of my life is the best day of my life, that would be a facade. And if I had the best day of my life everyday, where would my need to rely on God come from?

I do want to say, I AM super excited about baby Emery and can't wait for him/her to be here already! I am very grateful for this little one and I know that they will be an amazing addition to our little family. I will post more and more details soon.

Testimony Link Up

I will be linking up with Through Clouded Glass to share my testimony on November 17th. She is asking anyone who wants to participate to share there testimony on their blog and link up with her. I think it is a great idea, especially with Thanksgiving just around the corner. So... will you join the link up???

Salvation Stories

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I made Chloe a special onesie...

(Yes.. it's true! More details to come! and I put up a new tab at the top about this little one to be)

Monday, November 7, 2011

More truths about myself...

I will be partaking in the 100 truths/ Sunday Confessional thing that Deanna from Delirious Rhapsody has going on. I would love for you to participate too so that I can get to know you a little more!

100 Truths - I will give 10 random truths/facts about myself each week.

11. I have never broken a bone in my life. I am as clumsy as they come, I wake up with new bruises on a daily basis. However, I somehow had made it through life so far with not a single broken bone. Luck is all I can attribute this too...

12. I am a horrible cook. I would love to know how to cook, but I just really don't have the time nor energy to learn something like that right now.  I burn grilled cheese sandwiches and pancakes, for goodness sakes. I can make some good hamburger helper though.... I do eventually want to take cooking classes, it looks like it would be a ton of fun. And I would love to experiment with different foods and maybe open up my pallet more. I can say this, even though I am bad at cooking, I did win 2nd place for a mashed potatoes contest at work and 3rd place for a best dessert contest at work, that's gotta count for something!

13. I am the oldest in my family out of my generation. I am the oldest of my siblings and all of my cousins. I think that is why I am such a "mother hen", that and the fact that I would have to play "mom" while my mom was on west pack with the Navy when I was younger too.

14. I am the first and only (so far) in my entire family to get a degree from college. You think I could have gotten a scholarship or something for that. It was a pretty big feat for me. My younger sister is in college now and will hopefully get her degree soon.The sad thing is, I didn't end up "walking" and going to the graduation ceremony because I was on a celebratory flight to Hawaii instead. I do regret not going to the ceremony.

15. I had a black tooth when I was younger. There are family pictures and everything to prove it. I slipped and fell in the bathtub when i was little and hit my mouth pretty hard. The impact killed all the nerve endings in that tooth, causing it to "die" and turn black. It was my front right tooth too, so no hiding that.

16. I really really dislike cats. Sure kittens are cute and cuddly, until they attack you out of nowhere with there razor sharp claws and lick you with there sandpaper tongue. They even hurt you by "kneading" you when they are happy. What kind of sadistic animal is this? I think I really dislike them because we had a cat who was the spawn of the devil, really. If I even blinked, the cat would come out of its hidden spot and try to attack my face.

17. My favorite book of all time is Little Women. I read it when I was in 5th grade and had read it often throughout growing up. It still makes me cry when Beth dies, every time. I even bought a fancy copy with a ribbon place mark, gold rimmed pages and everything.

18. I played softball for 9 years when I was younger. I was all about softball and even played on the special winter leagues. I stopped because of family problems at home, but I wonder how far I could have gotten with it. I really did love playing. 

19. I get terribly sea/motion sickness. That probably added to my horrible morning sickness when I was pregnant with Chloe. I get headaches and throw up and the works. We purposefully avoid the winding roads and if we have to take them, I take crackers and water and try to sleep the whole way. Dramamine definitely helps.

20. I love Mexican food. I mean love it. I love it so much I would marry it.  We eat it at least twice a week in my house. I am always down to go to a taco shop. It helps we live right by the border and have amazing Mexican food. My favorites are enchiladas, tamales and California burritos. 

Will you all leave a comment with one random fact about you???

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